2012 came and went like a dream,
leaving only the perfume of Honey Boo Boo, Ridiculously Photogenic Guy, and
Grumpy Cat, as well as a trail of movies, in its wake.
The highest grossing films of 2012 (thanks, Wikipedia <3)
were, in this order:
The Avengers
Skyfall
The Dark Knight Rises
The Hobbit: An
Unexpected Journey
Ice Age: Continental
Drift
Breaking Dawn Part 2
The Amazing Spider-Man
Madagascar 3: Europe’s
Most Wanted (aka Polka Dot Afro Circus)
The Hunger Games
Men in Black 3
Notice
something? All sequels or adaptations. But that’s not news to you or me; the
trend of unoriginality has been going for years
now. Out of these movies, I saw two: The
Dark Knight Rises and The Hobbit.
I actually saw about a third or so of The
Hunger Games too, but I skipped around so much I don’t think I actually
have anything coherent to say about it other than this: Lenny Kravitz dayumm.
The Dark Knight Rises was solid but, in
my opinion, the weakest in Nolan’s trilogy. Anne Hathaway as sexy? To me, she
has this wholesome air about her that makes her beautiful and lovely, but not hot
or sexy (damn the Princess Diaries for doing this to me). I loved Bane’s monologues—when I could understand his garbled voice.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt? As (SPOILER ALERRRT) Robin? YES. Nothing, however, will
top Batman Begins for me— a movie I
watch so often in middle school, in my basement alone, that my parents actually
got concerned.
The Hobbit was also a great movie, but
without the crispness, finesse, and air of seriousness that pervaded Lord of the Rings. Perhaps this is due
to the new frames-per-minute format? Martin Freeman was perfect as Bilbo, Richard
Armitage was swoon-worthy as Thorin Oakenshield, Rivendell was
as jealousy-making as ever, but nothing too much happened— whatever, I just can’t wait to see Legolas in the sequel.
The first
movie I saw in 2012 was The Devil Inside.
My friend Mackenzie, lover of abnormal psych, insisted upon it. I’ll watch
almost anything about exorcisms, but the film abruptly cut to black at the end
and flashed a link on the screen, rendering the movie essentially an
hour-and-a-half-long advertisement for a promotional tie-in website. I was not
impressed. 2012 in film was not off to a great start.
However,
come February, one of my favorite movies of the year came out: The Woman in Black. A gothic ghost story
set in Edwardian England, the film boasted Daniel Radcliffe in his first
post-Potter appearance. The atmosphere, the story, and the freshness of the
movie were deeply satisfying.
In late
spring, my friend Kate and I ditched the end-of-the-year Bacchanalian
festivities to catch a flick that had caught her eye: The Cabin in the Woods. GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE. Funny, sharp,
terrifying, and mind-blowing, this was the best way to end my freshman year of
college: with a true piece of modern art. And, we weren’t hungover the next
day.
Two other movies I loved from the
second half of the year were on the expected side: Lincoln (Tommy Lee Jones!! Daniel Day-Lewis!!) and Life of Pi. May all of the Oscars go to
them.
I have some pleas for the plethora
of movie executives reading this blog. They are simple and not too extravagant,
I think.
1)
Stop with the godforsaken Snow White movies. It
was not the best move to take the most boring fairy tale in the classic canon
and turn it into both a candy-coated failure and a Kristen “Grumpy Cat” Stewart
vehicle. Also, trying to convince anyone that Charlize Theron is not the
fairest one of all is sort of a joke.
2)
Please don’t make Channing Tatum fall in love
with a woman named Paige in a movie again. I didn’t see The Vow, but seeing those trailers and imagining his wooden
delivery of “Paige, I love you!” was a little too close to home.
3)
Speaking of Channing Tatum, please don’t let
older women make comments in the theater during his movies. Seeing Magic Mike with my friends was rendered painful by post-menopausal women
meowing and shouting un-repeatable things at the movie screen.
4)
Most importantly: DON’T take awesome concepts
and make bad movies. I repeat: DO NOT DO THIS. Critics ravaged W.E., about Wallis Simpson and Edward
VIII, a relationship I wanted to see made into a smart movie, not one made by
the singer Madonna. The Raven was
panned, but who didn’t want to see John Cusack as Poe solving crimes based on
his stories?
Despite my complaints here, though,
I feel lucky for the movies of the past year; they are a varied and solid
bunch. There are still so many I want to see: Beasts of the Southern Wild, Anna Karenina, Skyfall, Silver Linings
Playbook, Les Miserables… anyone up for a movie marathon?
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